Brevity is the Future
Ever wonder why each time you try to read a newspaper article online a giant advertisement blocks the screen and forces you to watch a short film about Viagra? It's because no one gets paid to write press anymore. Advertising is what pays, not words. Me? I don't get paid to write. I get paid to sell booze. I choose to write in my free time because I enjoy it, but the only reason anyone cares about what I have to say is because I have wares to hawk. If I didn't taste hundreds of different wines and spirits every week and have the access that I do to the industry then no one would give two shits. In fact, even with my access and this innate ability I have to ramble endlessly, few people actually read the things I write. They browse. Or skim. Or take a quick peek. But few people read for context these days. No one has the time anymore with their twelve hour work days and five hour commutes in rush hour traffic. Whisky blogs? Wine journals? They died in 2012 when people realized what a gigantic waste of time they were. This blog in particular has been on life support for years. Today it's pretty much just an impromptu excuse for me to interview celebrity heroes from my youth and bother them about their drinking habits.
Where do the vast majority of today's selective drinkers go for their information? Not blogs, that much I can tell you. And for good reason. They're outdated, overlong, and mostly comprised of hot air. I haven't read a whisky blog in over a year. Not one, not once. Believe it or not, I actually use Instagram now to see what people are drinking. It's visual, fast, and to-the-point. Better yet, if you're good at what you do you can reach an incredible amount of viewers. Let me show you some superb examples.
(Let me also add this for those of you who don't know: Instagram is primarily a phone app thing, but I'll link to the web version here)
I have no idea who these two dudes are (so don't think I'm just plugging my friends here), but I know they shop at K&L because some of their reviews cover our selections. I look at their Instagram every single day. They take interesting shots with the bottles, cover both domestic and international releases, and they offer succinct and accurate descriptions of what they drink. It's not snarky, full of itself, or carrying a gigantic chip on its shoulder like much of what I try to avoid these days. I love their site. Here's the real telling information, however:
-Axis of Whisky blog followers: unknown, but not a lot of comment interaction
-Axis of Whisky Twitter followers: 382
-Axis of Whisky Instagram followers: 24,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! That's just amazing. These guys are reaching more whisky drinkers than every single blog that's ever existed put together. And I'm one of them. Count me in as a fan.
Not only is Instagram making things quicker and easier in terms of reaching modern whisky drinkers, it's also home to some of the funniest and most clever writing (despite the fact that you have to use your phone to do it). Best example?
This girl is hilarious and she's already got a whopping 9,000 groupies. I only found her because she managed to get an advance sample of our upcoming Fukano Japanese whisky cask. Again, I have no idea who this person is, but I've already found myself going back through her posts. Here's what she had to say:
Fukano 40.7% ABV is an inclusive bottle found @klwines. Shut the Fukano up. This stuff is awesome. Personally, between the two, I prefer the Flask Wine Edition more because it's sweeter. The Flask Wine edition is like a hot chick who's funny, but she can't stimulate you intellectually by talking about The Law of Thermodynamics. You boys will be like, "She's rad. I definitely wanna get to know her middle name AND cuddle with this hottie. The K n L bottling is much more complex in the sense that she knows how to school you on covalent bonds and can quote Thomas Pynchon's "Entropy." However, she might not take the time to brush her hair and doesn't have a set of perky boobs and ass. And that's cool cuz flat-chested ladies and saggy buns need loving, too, but you like her cuz she's cute and funny as well. Don't expect her to button her sweater correctly. Chances are, the lining between the button hole and button is 1-off because she's too busy analyzing Kenzaburo Oe's "A Personal Matter". This expression is dryer than Flask Wines, but it's incredibly dense. It's more oak-forward and just a hair bitter than the Flask expression. The tannins and red fruits definitely dominate the playing field. On the finish it makes your mouth bone-dry. It's like someone jammed cotton into my mouth, took away my water bottle and said, "Tough titties, I hope you die from dehydration!" Grape juice is present on the finish that leads to almond croissant paste. There's a bit of grassiness that reminds me of Stronachie (minus the smoke), but the grape juice is present like an old expression of Glen Grants made in the 70's. In some ways it's a bit floral like some Marie Duffau's Bas-Armagnac. Again, it's floral, dry, and oak-fowrard. So, in terms of it being oak forward, it reminds me of eating Black Walnut Ice Cream from Baskin Robbins, but someone sprinkled a touch of lavender over it.
Okee! Both are yummy for different reasons!
Drop the mic, Whisky Anorach. That's the best whisky review of the year, hands down. I think it was the "tough titties" part that made me laugh out loud because I use that term almost every day.
It's Instagram accounts like this that have me interested in whisky media once again. Of course, because no one reads blogs anymore my encouraging words won't be of much help to them. But they're doing just fine without me or any of the formerly-read online sites that enjoyed their run in the sun.
Snappy Instagram is the future. Bloated blogs are the past. The sun has set, but the mobile future is bright.