Tax Prep Day
Like many people I’m a total wreck as we get toward tax day. I push my calculations to the very last minute. It’s not because I owe anything, I’m pretty sure they owe me. I’m not confident enough in my ability to save money to avoid withholding plenty during the year. The dread comes simply from the looming knowledge that I have to go through all my expenses and see how I’ve wasted my money all year. My bank makes it surprisingly difficult to download more than five months of financial transactions, so that means I have to pour over terribly formatted PDFs and find various expenses to write off for whatever reason. It’s not really all that difficult, just time consuming and monotonous. Beyond the simple annoying facts that it must be done and the realization that I've spent several thousand on coffee this year, there’s always that sinking feeling that you've screwed up and the government will say, “WRONG! Give us more money!”
The savvy tax payer isn’t doing any of that. It’s apparently in poor financial taste to lend money to the government interest free. Instead, simply pay what you owe when you owe it. Better yet extend the deadlines. Stress free. Seems simple enough, but all that money you’ve saved throughout the year is just sitting in a savings account? What kind of sense is that? Even the most lucrative FDIC Insured savings accounts only yield a tiny return. Why not invest your future tax dollars in something useful? Whisky? Sure it’s illegal to sell without a license, but it’s tangible and delicious. You can feel the bottle in your hand and hear the clink of the lip to your glass. It’s visceral, pleasurable, and social. A physical commodity like whisky is always handy if the financial system collapses or the world descends into some sort of zombie apocalypse. Not only can you drink and enjoy it, but it’s useful for barter when roving bands of nomadic cyberpunks threaten your lands. It can be used to disinfect wounds and start fires!
Don't divert your tax money to buy whisky, but you may want to consider setting a little aside now while you're preparing to pay the man. Deals like these are going to be a distant memory soon. This new batch of Faultline, the first single malt in years, represents some of the best value we’ve ever offered. Build just a little extra into the budget for these special whiskies and you'll be thank yourself this time next year. These should drop on Tax Day, 2018.
-David Othenin-Girard