Has the romance gone out of your love affair lately? Are you coming home, saying nothing to your Scotch collection, and then sleeping in the guest room while the Ardbeg watches TV in the living room? Does your Bourbon not even try anymore, simply settling for sweatpants and no makeup while it dumps itself into a plastic cup? These are signs that your relationship with alcohol might be in need of a jump start - especially if you're no longer enjoying each other's company.
I know a number of people who have had come-to-Jesus moments with booze lately. Some people simply took a month off. Others made it clear that they were tired of the whole "scene." Many found more important and meaningful uses for their time. What was clear to me, however, when it came down to it, was that none of these folks had balance in their booze relationship - some time for themselves, alone, and then time spent together with booze. It's not an all or nothing type of situation. No one likes to be smothered, neither people nor cases of alcohol. You don't have to be crazy "into" whiskey, pour your whole life into it, and then finally decide that whiskey is a stupid waste of time. That's not a booze issue, that's a time management problem. I've gone through all these emotions before, myself. I spend a lot of time with the bottle. I know what it's like to feel completely inspired by alcohol and then suddenly like a total loser, wasting his time in a sea of liquor.
I don't have any choice in the matter, however. Liquor will be a permanent part of my life for as long as I continue to work at K&L. Therefore, I've found some ways to keep my booze relationship hot and heavy. It totally grosses some people out, but it's completely revitalized my love life. We can't keep our hands off each other, whiskey and me. Here are a few tips for making sure you keep the balance in your liquor life:
1) EXERCISE! - Booze will totally bring you down if you don't make some time to exercise. Booze wants you to make the effort, show booze that you care about yourself and your health. That doesn't mean you have to be thin with washboard abs, it just means that exercise seems to be a good way for keeping yourself and your relationship fresh. I've realized there's a very good reason why alcohol is categorized as a depressant - it will depress you. For me, running three to four times a week seems to help detox my body a bit. It also gives me some alone time to think about other things in my life. Another aspect is that I won't run if I'm hungover, so that means no heavy drinking on Sunday, Tuesday, or Thursday nights.
2) Don't rely on the internet for your socialization - It's great to get ideas, tasting notes, reviews, and information from people on the internet. It's great to keep up with people on the internet. However, my customers tell me all the time about how they love meeting up in person to drink. Some of us have a tasting group together that meets every couple of months to socialize and share our booze with. It makes a huge difference in our enjoyment of spirits. If you're bulking up on bottles at home alone, wondering why you're not enjoying your relationship, it's because booze likes to go out. You need to take booze dancing, introduce it to new people, make date nights with friends who also know booze. You can't spent your whole life pent up in the same stuffy apartment with booze. It just doesn't work. I find that spending at least one night out a week with my boozefriend makes for a happy life.
3) Remember why you first fell in love - You both may be different people now, but at some point you loved each other, right? What was it that drew you to single malt originally? Try to think about how you felt during those early years when everything seemed new, honest, and fresh. I deal with that on a regular basis whenever I start to feel jaded in my relationship. "You're not the bottle I married anymore!" I think to myself, but would never have the guts to say outloud. My bottle would slap the shit out of me. Nevertheless, I have to think about what made us such a great couple in the past and continue to work within that mindset.
4) Understand that all relationships are different and be honest - Just because you've had a long and successful relationship based on certain tastes and desires, doesn't mean they'll work for others. Just because John and his bottle are able to drink together seven days a week doesn't mean your relationship will work out the same way. You need a bottle that's right for you. A bottle that will appreciate you as much as you appreciate it. You don't want some amazing, expensive, high-end bottle that looks great on your shelf, but goes and drinks with your friend behind your back when you're working late. Make sure you're honest about what kind of booze you're looking for and what type will work for your own personal lifestyle.
5) Spend quality time together and alone - Booze can tell when you're not paying attention to it, when you're just spacing out while it's talking to you, or when you're drinking it, but really you're focusing on your job. It doesn't like it, either. When you're with booze, make sure that you're giving it your full attention and appreciation. Don't just sit down for dinner, stuff a bunch of food into your mouth, and go watch TV without so much as giving booze a thought. Time together should be special. At the same time, make sure you spend some time away from booze as well. Booze doesn't always want to be around you. It needs time to rest, recover, and gossip about its own interests, about how it doesn't like sunlight and how it appreciates air-tight seals. Those are just interests you're not as passionate about, so don't feel like you have to understand everything about it. Take some time to read, write, play music, do whatever. But do it without booze. Then, when you're together again, you'll really appreciate those tender moments.
These are five easy steps that I follow for my booze relationship. I couldn't be happier with my current situation as a result. It's not easy sometimes and, of course, we have our ups and downs. We fight. We throw things at each other. We kiss and make up. Yes, sometimes we sit alone together in the dark (and you know what happens then!). It takes work, however. Like any relationship, you have to work at booze to make booze work for you. Doing so is completely rewarding and worth the effort, however.
There's no need to give up, walk away, or act like it's not cool anymore. Booze will always be cool. It just needs you to understand it.