Greedy Person Sorry For Being Exposed

In today's news, a incredibly rich man who was attempting to get even richer by hoodwinking consumers decided to remain rich instead of filthy rich.

"I realized that telling people I was being greedy was a bad idea. Next time, I need to keep it to myself because the outcry has been unbelievable. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but I guess it is."

The rich man said he suddenly realized that remaining rich depends on consumers giving him their money.

"Taking money from people is more difficult than I thought," the rich man went on to say. "I had gotten so used to it, all that money flying in from all over the world, that I figured I could just do it even faster than before."

Numerous websites have been quick to praise the rich man for his thoughtful decision. One consumer said, "I always enjoyed him as rich. His decision to get filthy rich was uncomfortable to me because it was coming at my expense. I'm very proud of his new decision. It reminds me of the time I caught a man stealing money out of my wallet and I told him I didn't like it. We've been best friends ever since."

The rich man said he plans to find other ways to get richer, but doesn't plan on making them public next time.

-David Driscoll

David Driscoll